I’m not really impressed with the JYJ English album. Granted I only gave it one quick listen but it felt enough. I also really don’t like a lot of the pictures. How the hell they managed to make Kim Jaejoong look bad I’ll never understand. Back to the music. The songs are dull and the lyrics questionable. Their english is better than expected but nothing amazing and I feel that it is holding them back from fully expressing themselves. It sounds awkward at times, mumbled at others. Enunciation is everything (Though if I compare to what I hear on the radio, then enunciation is nothing. They’re doing fine.) On saying that I love track 3- empty. It’s so beautiful. Yoochun sounds a bit nasally in parts and I don’t like one part, but the rest is perfection. Even the lyrics aren’t at all bad. I’ve had it on repeat for a couple of days and I don’t think I’ll be getting sick of it any time soon ♥

So school has started a lot of people. It’s weird, because for me it’s still holidays. On Monday I was walking with my sister to the train station and I saw all the kids in their uniforms walking back from school and I realised I was never going to be them again. In a way I already wasn’t them. I’ve spent the past year in 6th form, where already it was different from them but the 6th form was still part of the same school so it wasn’t that different. I realised I was never going to have to struggle through every kind of weather to walk the familiar route to and back school, never going to study certain subjects or have the same teachers. On one hand it was like HAHAHA SUCKERS (I hated high-school and 6th form. I hated the school, most of my teachers, my subjects, and I didn’t really like some of my friends either. I hated that place and that time of my life and am glad to get away from it, in a way). On the other it’s pretty scary. No way do I feel that grown up. I’m still petrified about this whole going to university thing and it’s only getting worst as the days pass by.

I feel more sorry for my sister though. If she gets into her last year of university then she’ll be graduating next year. That has got to be terrifying. (To be honest I haven’t quite gotten used to the fact that my sister is getting closer and closer to being a ‘grown up’ either.)

So yes, let my use the “school” tag for the last time today. From now on, I guess I need a “university” tag…

baking

cupcakes
One of my favourite hobbies is to bake, especially lately now that I have a ridiculous amount of free time. (I don’t work nor do I go to school at the moment. I have all the time in the world!) If I’m bored or stressed or even just craving something sweet I love to blast some mindless pop music and bake. It’s really a perfect way to take my mind of things, and in the end I have cake… A win-win situation I’d say. I have mastered simple cakes like butter cake, chocolate cake, cherry cake but these are all really simple and easy throw-it-all-in-the-bowl-and-mix-it-together type things and I wanted to expand my ~skills~. I also had seen too many cupcake pictures on tumblr. Thus- I decided to make cupcakes! I made them today. They were pretty easy to make, though I admittedly had to get my mom to help me at times. The most fun part was definitely when they were made so I could ice them! I bought pre made icing because I can’t make icing to save my life, and it is honestly the most creamiest butter cream icing I have ever tasted. And so easy to use. Then I just put some sprinkles on and voila. Tasty and a lot cuter than any cake I’ve ever made! I’d say all in all these were rather successful. I still have some icing left so I’m tempted to make another batch, actually. XD

Coming soon (next week most likely): Milk Tart. I’ve been cleaning my room over the past few days and I found a really good recipe my Granny gave me so I want to give it a try. It will be the most complicated thing I’ve ever attempted but I would love to have some Milk Tart, it is after all a South African thing and thus not available in this country. : (

“I just don’t want to die anymore”

I am not really doing much with my time at the moment. Ever since I’ve come back from Japan I’ve been kind of tired. I sleep, I eat a little too much of all the wrong things, and I have realised I no longer care about Kpop much anymore, or fic or any of the things I used to do. I have started on old hobbies. Listening to the songs I used to like for one. Lots of Jrock. For two I have started watching anime again. I thought I’d long gotten tired of that scene, but no I just needed a good break from it. I recently finished Nabari no Ou after about three days marathoning it. I love that series. It was something I started forever ago and for some reason I didn’t finish. I re-watched all the earlier episodes and then finished it off. Such a gorgeous anime. Yeah sure there are ninjas and awesome fight scenes, and it is so beautiful to watch, but what makes it amazing I think are the characters. A rather complex group of people with their own set of flaws. I find it difficult to watch or read something when I dislike the characters, or when the characters are too perfect. I like reading about flawed people, making wrong decisions and betraying each other sometimes. It makes it more real and easy to relate to despite any circumstance.

At the moment I am trying to get through Mirage of Blaze TV series. It’s a little difficult. The anime is nothing compared to the novels. The novels are amazing and are what made me fall in love with this series. If all I knew about Mirage of Blaze was the anime…well I wouldn’t love the series nearly as much as I do. To get back to characterization, the characters in the anime aren’t nearly as well characterized as they are in the novels. Which is to be expected because it wouldn’t work as a TV series if certain things weren’t cut out but still. Not enjoying it that much.

I have plans to watch 07 GHOST, another anime I started and loved but never finished, Junjou Romantica, Yami no Matsuei and then whatever else I fancy. Yes so I like series with pretty boys and subtle BL undertones. Some thing don’t change XD

I have a feeling that if this goes on long enough I’ll be reading manga again soon enough…

I guess by drowning myself in Japanese music and anime and such I am clinging onto Japan. I miss seeing Japanese and hearing Japanese anywhere. Other things I miss are going for long walks through the city with no destination in mind, not really, and I miss coming back to an empty hotel room and perfect silence, curling up in a big fluffy double bed and watching EHB with some juice and snacks. I miss being alone. I miss how I felt there. I swear for the first time in years I felt alive. I feel a little lost at the moment, a little sad, back to feeling trapped and lonely.