Today I found out that my cat is dying.
It’s not totally unexpected; she’s been unhealthy for about a year now. She has not been ageing well. First it was the fleas taking it out of her, then she had cancer and had to have surgery to have it removed. We, my family and I, were told then it may come back at any time… but you always think that won’t be soon, don’t you? The next time she went to the vets everything was fine and she just needed to be booked in to hospital to have her teeth cleaned. The vet said she was fine. We all breathed a sigh of relief. The cancer wasn’t back.
Today she was labouring when breathing so back to the vet again. I only found out now that this had happened. That the vet had x-rayed her and found cancer in her lungs. It was moving fast. We could have a week, we could have two months. But either way we are going to have to put her down.
I hate that I’m not there with her. I call her my cat but she is the family pet and she lives with my parents. I’m just a little too far away to be able to see her when I want. I hate it. And I hate that I won’t be there to hear the final verdict when she goes back to the vet on Monday. And what if the verdict is something immediate has to be done? What if the last time I saw her was the last time?
I never seem to be there when those that I love pass away.