Archery today was pretty awful. I arrived late and couldn’t find a bow, then I got a bow without screws, so I had to get another one, which then I assembled with the limbs upside down, then I realized as I was about to shoot that I had a left hand bow, then I had to take down the damn thing, then I had to find another bow even though it took me like 10 minutes to find that one (I use a super light bow- a 24 pound- because I am weak like that and well most of the bows are at least 28 because most aren’t as weak as I am) and then once I found it I had to build it, which thankfully I got right this time, although I almost forgot to attach the sight. And then I attached the sight the wrong way round too. ARGH. The one experienced archer was all “…did you pass the beginners course?” and I was just wanted to go home, curl up and go back to sleep and pretend nothing had happened.
Then I had to actually shoot and my arrows were going all over the place. I don’t care about getting a 10, I just want three in the same damn place and I can’t. Just. I’m so rubbish. I kinda want to stop doing it but then I feel like I shouldn’t. Not only because I’m spent money on joining the club and getting a beginners pack (i.e a quiver, arm-guard and tab) but because I’m always like this- I attempt to do things, and then it gets to the point where it starts getting more serious/formal and I realize I’m not very good and everyone else is way better and I start getting anxious about doing it and I start dreading doing it and then I quit. I’m a quitter and I know it and I don’t want to be. I don’t want to be this person. I don’t want to regret not doing something because I was too much of a coward to stick with it. ARGH
Shouldn’t one grow out of this terrifying anxiety? This fear of doing things and getting them wrong? I annoy myself with the way I am sometimes.
(End note to self: Remember- The limb with the writing on goes at the bottom, the short part of the string goes towards the top and if your arrows are going low then move the sight down, similarly if they are going left move the sight to the left. I think that’s right. Perhaps I’ve already forgotten D: )