Liar

Remember that social thing I really didn’t want to go to? Well, I got out of it. How? I lied. The guy asked me if I was still going and the words came easily. “Sorry, something came up.” Of course he had to ask why. Again, the lie slipped off my tongue just like I’d rehearsed in my head many times “I’m seeing my sister.” I had hoped I wouldn’t have to provide an excuse, that “I’m busy” would do. Alas, I had to provide some reason. Immediately I felt relieved, knowing I didn’t have to go, but also guilty and panicked. I don’t like lying. Sometimes, you have to lie. Sometimes- like this time- I wonder if it would have been best if I’d been honest. But then I may have hurt his feelings or pissed him off. I don’t want to do that. Thankfully come Monday, and even now no one has further questioned anything. Good.  Though I felt quite guilty and still do. I wonder too what would have happened if I went, although I know it made no difference that I was not there. I don’t have any friends in my class. I am still struggling with this whole being surrounded by strangers thing, even well into Semester 2 of university where I generally get on with the people in my class (though, still don’t really know the names of some of the people I talk to daily. Also awkward situation today- a guy sat down next to me in the library and said hello and I managed to mutter a hello back, but I have no idea who he was even if I think he is in my class? Thankfully he didn’t make further conversation. I’m not sure I could handle talking to someone when I don’t know who they are. D:) I feel nervous every day, trying to keep up when they talk to me and trying to think of the right thing to say, the best thing to say. Its not like they are horrible, I am just awkward. I don’t mind, although it makes me miss my sister and my best friend aka the people I can relax around. Also- the guys in my class talk about football. A lot. All the time. Constantly. Is this a guy thing or just because I go to university in Liverpool?

In other news I am still doing that no-poo thing. I can’t believe its only been two weeks since I stopped this shampoo thing. Sometimes I think about how great it would be to use shampoo, and other times I am all excited about this all over again. My hair is a mess, to put it bluntly. When I brush it there is this weird whitish scum that coats the brush. I think that it grease, though I don’t want to think about it too hard. It is that gross. Tomorrow I wash it, and it should be fine for a couple of days before it begins to to get greasier…and greasier…until it becomes as gross as it is now.  Though it never really becomes clean even when I wash it, not like shampoo made it. My hair feels thick and heavy all the time. My fringe especially is a problem, though I thankfully have the time on Monday to give my fringe a quick rinse even if I don’t have the time to properly wash my hair in the mornings (note: I wash my hair Wednesday and Saturday mornings usually). The boar bristle brush helps, but nothing too amazing. I find as long as I keep my fringe clean and tie my hair back I can just about get away with it. In just a week I use shampoo, then I go another month with WO. I am still using my Nuance Airy Hair mask on the ends of my hair every time I wash it (I love that stuff too much). I am still experimenting with essential oils. I tried chamomile tea+lavender oil+ylang ylang on Saturday and liked it. I think this week I am just sticking to WO followed by conditioning my ends.

Lastly- Super Junior M’s new song? Completely awesome. And the fact they have a song composed by Jay Chou on their mini album also helps to make me quite excited for its release.