Today I went to the dentist. Today I had my first filling. When asked if I wanted to go numb or not I panicked (hello, I was very put on the spot) and said “yes?”. I didn’t quite realise that meant a thin little needle stuck into my mouth, and I hate needles. Countless inoculations, one blood test and two piercings have made me able to bare needles but it’s enough to make me nervous and afraid. I lay there staring resolutely at the light, heart pounding, arms crossed, fingers digging into my arm, as the dentist and assistant stared down at me and drilled and I don’t even know what else. It was all rather terrifying. I was breathing hard and I felt a little light headed, the fear of dentists I had long gotten over returning to me (funny story: the first time I went to the dentist I cried and refused to go in). I couldn’t feel anything, just hear sounds and see the light, and the dentist and her assistants heads hovering over me. Afterwards I was like “lol can’t feel my face :D”. It was a decidedly strange feeling. I could move my face but my muscles felt thick, heavy and stiff so talking or smiling was uncomfortable and awkward and no longer a reflex/natural. We went grocery shopping which I really would have wished not to as it was hard to talk and to stop myself from being gross and drooling (even my tongue felt heavy and unfamiliar in my mouth). Somehow I survived and came home, realising I couldn’t eat anything but a small croissant (using my right set of molars only) and some yogurt. Eventually two hours I was like “fuck, can’t feel my face ¬_¬” and three hours later feeling finally returned! Now my teeth just hurt. I am still very hungry.